Bittersweet Life

TRAIN - Marry Me

2012-01-10T20:16:00.001+07:00

Forever can never be long enough for me
Feel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now, we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do

Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way

Marry me today and every day
Marry me if I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will, say you will

Together can never be close enough for me
Feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you
And you're beautiful

Now that the wait is over
And love and has finally shown her my way
Marry me today and every day
Marry me if I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will, say you will

Promise me you'll always be happy by my side
I promise to sing to you when all the music dies

And marry me today and every day
Marry me if I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will, say you will marry me

2012-01-09T19:17:00.000+07:00

Dear universe,
Please give me a really big heart, patient, and courage to solve any problem arise.

2011-10-29T08:10:00.001+07:00

"Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.So what?So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out."

They didn’t agree on much. In fact, they didn’t agree on anything. They fought all the time and challenged each other ever day. But despite their differences, they had one important thing in common. They were crazy about each other.

Dibuang Sayang :)

2011-10-07T19:39:00.002+07:00

Oh my.
Baru sadar, isi blog ini waktu awal2 ga penting bgt. Childish. Hahaha. Tp sayang mau di delete krn bs jd history selama 5 tahun ini, perubahan dan perkembangan apa aja yg terjadi pd Fny. Buat refleksi diri. Hehehe.

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

2011-10-05T13:10:00.001+07:00

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Off course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous ‘Yes.’
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
‘Now,’ said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things – family, children, health, friends, and favorite passions.
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.
The sand is everything else – the small stuff.
‘If you put the sand into the jar first’ He continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, You will never have room for the things that are important to you.
So,
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.
‘Take care of the golf balls first — The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.’
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled.
‘I’m glad you asked’
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend. :)

Tanjung Pinang Fams

2011-10-05T12:59:00.001+07:00

Mas Adit, Kak Agnes, Lidya, Ko William, Ci Yuni, Ko Alex, Ko Edison n fams, Bu Ambar, Pak Agus, Mas Ipul.
Just want to write down their names, so i remember them every time i read this post. Thanks for giving me great days in Tanjung Pinang. It's precious. :)

FNN Resignation

2011-09-15T15:28:00.004+07:00

Fenny Suprioto

Jl. RE Martadinata KM 6 Kampung Melayu, Tg Pinang

Tel: 0818 0 6969 337

E: fenny.s@windowslive.com

3rd July 2011

Muhammad Shadiq (MSQ)
Field Operation Executive PT Nestlé Indonesia Jl. Lobak Gg Kopi no 3
Simpang-Ardath, Arengka
Pekanbaru

Dear Mr. MSQ

Please accept this written statement as an advance notice of my resignation as Medical Delegate from PT Nestlé Indonesia. As per my employment contract, I am giving one month’s notice and my last day of employment will be 4 August 2011. I will ensure that all my projects are completed by that date and assist in any way possible to ensure a smooth handover to my replacement.

I regret any inconvenience my resignation may cause. I never thought I would ever leave such a great company as PT Nestlé Indonesia. This was a difficult decision and I took a lot of consideration but I am convinced that it is in the company’s and my best interest.

I sincerely thank you for the opportunities, experience, and knowledge I have gained during my short time at PT Nestlé Indonesia. I have learned so much and your guidance and support have been invaluable. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you need any further information after I leave, and also please keep in touch.

Kind Regards,

Fenny Suprioto

CC :

Setelah berkutat sekian lama dengan diri sendiri dan pendapat orang tua dan teman, Fny memutuskan untuk resign dari posisi Medical Delegate (MD) karena Fny merasa ga cocok dengan cara kerja dan lingkungan kerjanya. Yang Fny maksud dengan lingkungan kerja bukanlah mengenai penempatan Fny di Tanjung Pinang, melainkan lingkungan kerja MD (umumnya disebut Medical Representative kalau di perusahaan lain) yang banyak berhubungan dengan tipe orang yang tanpa malu selalu berusaha mencari keuntungan pribadi. Ok, Fny ga munafik, kita hidup emang butuh duit, ga bs nyalahin mereka sepenuhnya, tp dengan gelar yang mereka punya dan sumpah yang telah mereka ucapkan saat mendapat gelar tersebut rasanya ga pantas banget deh. I guess I'm just sick of those people. Emang ga semua yang berhubungan sama Fny spt itu, ada juga yang berusaha memberikan kualitas terbaik, yang tulus dan baik, Fny berterimakasih terhadap mereka. Cara kerja yang ga sesuai buat Fny yaitu kita harus "overly creative" dengan budget (semua yang over ga bagus kan, you know what I mean), dan menurut Fny, Fny ga akan (atau ga mau?) bisa.
Sejak handing over dan sekilas melihat cara kerja previous MD, Fny udah kepikiran, apakah kerja sbg MD akan mempengaruhi Fny scr negatif? Takut berjalan di jalur yang salah sih sebenarnya. Selain itu Fny ngerasa too much things out of my control dalam pekerjaan ini karena semua yang Fny dpt adalah turunan dari MD sebelumnya. Data, master list, rutin order, conversion, project, report, dan kebenaran dari semua nya. Mengarang indah merupakan bagian dr pekerjaan kebanyakan MD, dan itu udah jadi rahasia umum.

I hate this person I've become since I got that job. I've become a negative person, always complain about the job and feeling bad about myself.

Ga rela banget harus melepas perusahaan sebesar dan sebagus Nestlé, tp apa boleh buat, Fny ga mau terus-terusan berada di situasi kerja yang seperti itu. Walaupun salah terjun ke posisi MD, Fny bersyukur mendapat kesempatan bekerja disana dan berkenalan dengan orang-orang yang luar biasa. Fny belajar banyak dari perusahaan ini meskipun masa kerja Fny sebentar (7 Feb - 27 Aug 2011).

2011-07-20T13:49:00.001+07:00

Don't kiss me baby, we can't never be..

2011-04-21T23:47:00.002+07:00

Dear universe,
When will I get used to this new place, new job?
I keep crying and weeping, feeling lonely. No one to talk to, no one to share all of this anxious feelings.
Hate myself for being so weak, hate my bf because he doesn't care about my feelings. :'(

2011-04-18T22:20:00.002+07:00

Stepping out of my comfort zone, need support.
Ga betah, pengen pulang, stres kerjaan, terus2an mampir di pikiran Fny. :(

Are You Lonesome Tonight?

2011-02-24T22:19:00.003+07:00

Dah di Tj Pinang slma bbrp hari, kebanyakan nganggurnya. Krn nganggur jd berasa sepinya, mau mkn sndirian jd mls, mau ngap2in ga bs krn ga ad kendaraan dan blm tau jln, kerjaannya ngedekem di kmr hotel.. Ko ant sibuk, ga ad yg bisa diajak ngobrol. Sendirian di daerah asing ga enak. Fny kesepian mlm ini. :(

Face The New World

2011-02-21T23:39:00.003+07:00

Ditrima kerja di Nestle :), mulai training sejak tgl 7-18 Feb, tgl 21 Feb diterbangkan di Tanjung Pinang.
Gonna miss my family, Jaiho, and ko anT..
Keep strong fenn'.
Thx universe!

2010-12-10T21:33:00.001+07:00

Desperate. :'(

Can You Hear Me, Universe?

2010-12-06T20:51:00.005+07:00

Dear Universe,
I want to get a good job as soon as possible. I want it really bad now. :(
I want to start giving back to my parents and make them proud of me. They are getting old.
Do you hear me, Universe?
I'm waiting and believing while doing whatever i can.
-Fenn' to Universe

Attitude of Gratitude

2010-11-24T23:14:00.001+07:00

Fenny Chan' is grateful for the good friends in her life. :)

Blooming Flowers

2010-11-24T12:33:00.002+07:00

Let the tears fall down.
Let the laughter through.
One day, oh, one day. The flowers will reach full bloom.

-Hayley Westenra.

2010-11-22T11:05:00.002+07:00

Hwaaa, kesempatan dtg! Hmmm2, ayoo Fenn'.
Mestakung! =)

2010-11-21T11:20:00.002+07:00

Perasaan lagi campur aduk. Hmmm, jd bete. :(

Dua hari yang lalu br tau klo Desonk sm Ko Leo putus. Kata Desonk, mgkn krn faktor perbedaan agama. Lagi2 krn mslh agama. Sm aj kejadiannya kyk Fny sm Ko Cipit dlu. Lagi2 cewe yg ga bs apa2.. Payah.

Kmrn ketemu Dendy, akhirnya stlah sekian lama. Haha. Trnyata dy tinggi, lebih tinggi dr Ko anT. Secara keseluruhan Fny have fun jalan sm Dend, tp ga tau Dend nya gmn..
Things I like bout him:
Dend ga ngeluh uda anter jemput Fny, kna macet, muter2 cari alamat rmh Fny.
Dend sopan, bgtu dtg mau ktmu nyokap dlu, hehehe.
Kyknya dy kurang hobi sm Harpot, tp ttep mau ntn sm Fny.
Dend tangannya hangat, hwa2.
Things I don't like bout him:
Dend trtutup sm Fny, qta banyak ngobrol ini itu ttg hub qta dgn pacar, tp rasanya msh ada jarak yg besar. Ya, wajar sih, Fny ud ga sdeket dlu sm Dendy, tambah lg skrg masing2 dah pny pacar. Dlu jd jauh jg mgkn krn Fny yg ga pernah contact Dend lg.
Emang bner ya klo bb ituw bikin qta autis, sibuk dgn dunia sndr. Jd kmrn sempet sibuk sndr2 sm bb, atau krn bingung mau ngomongin apa kali ya jd ngabur k dunia bb.
Kmrn ngarep ditungguin dlu smpe masuk rmh baru Dend jalan. Ud mlm mgkn jd Dend buru2?

I really appreciate every little things a man do for me. Jd ngarep malahan. Haha. Sampe saat ini ga ad yg ngalahin Ko anT dgn sikap 'perfect gentleman'nya k cewe2 sekitar. Aplg dlu wktu lg pdkt k Fny, serasa putri raja. Skrg stlh lama jadian sikapnya menurun, wktu Fny singgung ttg ini Ko2 bilang, "Kamu kan ud tau semua sifat2 Ko2, jd Ko2 bersikap apa adanya ke kamu." Ga ngerti deh mesti seneng atw sedih. Fny sih maunya diperlakukan sbg orang yg lbh spesial..

*Sigh.

Mestakung

2010-11-16T11:44:00.003+07:00

Kapan Fny bs mulai memberi? *Waiting and believing

Hi, How are You? :)

2010-11-06T16:12:00.004+07:00

Udah hampir 8bulan Fny ga nulis blog ya. Hwa.
Sbenernya bnyk kejadian selama ini, tp males nulisnya..
Belakangan ini yg paling terasa sih Fny lulus, lg cari kerja, blm dpt2, hiks. Udah bosen nganggur nih, dah sebulan lbh rasanya.. Apa fny trlalu bnyk pilih, bnyk maunya ya? *thinking
Hari ini Ko Jimmy married, congratz on ur wedding bro! Sorry i can't come to ur wed. Karena masalah keluarga, pernikahan Ko Jimmy ga distujui. Bnyk hal yg buat Fny bingung sih dari sisi Ko Jimmy dan nyokap.. Q ga bs ikut campur, sedih deh ngliat kondisi bgini. :'(

2010-03-20T13:50:00.002+07:00

Belakangan ini Fny jd banyak pikiran.
Penelitian, seminar, Papa.
Rasanya pikiran Fny slalu dipenuhin sm 3 hal ini mulu'. Huff.
Berusaha memberikan yang terbaik niy.. Hwa.
Saddhu3x.

2010-02-16T18:44:00.000+07:00

Hai2, sudah lama tak menulis. Hwa. =p

2010-01-22T11:35:00.002+07:00

No one falls in love by choice, it's by chance. No one stays on love by chance, it's by work. No one falls out of love by chance, it's by choice.

Whatever.

2009-10-22T19:18:00.004+07:00

Bsk wawancara Nutrifood.. Smoga Fny bs jadi diri Fny ap adanya dan diterima ya.. Hwa.

Hmm2, Fny lg ikut trial Celfit. Dr bbrp mgg lalu kerjaannya fitness mulu', bner kata Ko anT, bs ketagihan. Mana personal trainer yg nanganin Fny, Dian, orangnya lucuu, baik, ngangenin pula.. Hahaha. Makin pengen sering ngegym dahh. Tp bntar lg trialnya abis niyy..

Skrg Fny sedang menikmati status 'single'. Seru dan bs menikmati pilihan. Nyahaha. :)

Leadership Scholarship Program from Nutrifood

2009-10-03T21:45:00.003+07:00

Hmm,, dapet panggilan dari Nutrifood kmrn utk seleksi.
Senang, tp masih belum ap2 ini mahh..
Smoga Fny bisa lulus seleksi dan ikut smpe tahap akhir yahH..
Smoga Fny bisa berkembang mnjadi lbh baik stlh ikut program ini. =]
Sadhu3x.

2009-09-19T20:07:00.002+07:00

Two lovers born into this life
Each born alone half of a whole

Men are Really From Mars!

2009-09-05T20:20:00.004+07:00

Semenjak tau Fny dah single, Gilang jd sering sms2 Fny lg, bahkan wktu kmrn smpet nelpon2 Fny.. Hmm, Fny ga tertarik sm dy lgpl dy jg lebih muda 2taon dr Fny, tp ga mau nyinggung dy.. Ga mgkn Fny cuekin jg. Gmn yah..

Kelanjutan hubungan Fny sm Ko anT', kmrn smpet ksel sm dy.. Fny sedikit merasa lega karena status qta ud berteman aj, klo ga pasti wktu kmrn tingkat kekesalan Fny ga cm sgni.. *sigh. Liat ntar aj gmn jdnya qta berdua.

Kerry lagi2 nyuekin Fny.. Pdhl niat Fny mau balikin situasi qta jadi normal lg. Kerry yg menyenangkan spt dlu.. Ga bs ya? Huf.

Sedih. Ga ad yg beres deh.. *sob

Kerry

2009-09-02T19:27:00.004+07:00

Hmm, tb2 Kerry ga nyuekin Fny lg.. Senang, senang.. =)
Hehe.
I really wish we could start all over again.

2009-08-23T18:48:00.001+07:00

Kenapppaaaaaa sih dy??
Duh, ga ngerti bgt.
Huhhhhhhhhhh...

Thank You for Loving Me

2009-08-22T11:20:00.004+07:00

Fny pikir qta lebih baik berteman dlu skrg, Fny takut Fny bakal nyakitin Ko2 nanti. Fny ga bs percaya thd perasaan Fny sndr.. Fny sayang Ko2, saat ini Fny cm sayang sm Ko2, tp Fny masih sering mikirin cwo2 lain slaen Ko anT'.. Fny nakal.
Ko anT' marah bukan krn Fny pernah mikirin cwo lain, tp Ko anT' marah krn Fny memutuskan utk mengakhiri hubungan qta.. Ktnya ituw normal klo Fny masih mikirin cwo lain, dan dlm suatu hub ituw perlu proses utk akhirnya qta bner2 saling komitmen. Ko anT' bilang masih sayang sm Fny.. Tp Fny tetap ga bs ngelanjutin hub ini..
Ko anT' sempet ngajuin syarat sm Fny, klo Fny mau qta berdua putus (i would prefer to say it 'berteman'), Fny mesti terima klo Ko2 menjauh dr Fny. Ko2 bilang dy pasti berusaha keras utk ngelupain Fny. Fny ga mau, Fny ga mau Ko2 menjauh dr Fny. Gmn Fny bs memikirkan ulang perasaan Fny ttg Ko2 klo Ko2 menjauh dr Fny? Mana mgkn bs seandainya Fny yakin suatu saat nanti klo Ko2 adlh pilihan Fny? Ko2 dan Fny akhirnya sepakat utk berteman. Dan qta ga nutup kemungkinan utk suatu saat nanti bs jadian lg, klo qta masing2 yakin sm perasaan qta..
Thanks for understanding me, Ko anT. =')
I wish u happiness.

Fny lebih baik tidak terlibat dalam suatu hub dlu sekarang ini..

Newly Post

2009-08-14T15:23:00.006+07:00

Huf. Rasanya belakangan ini waktu berjalan sgt cepat..

Banyak hal yg terjadi dlm bbrp minggu ini:
[x] Kenalan sm Kerry, ko2nya Vincent, tmen dket Fny dlu wktu di DBB.. We had a good time then, a really good time. Nice to know him. *happy
[x] Nie2 balik dr China, jalan2.. Langganan tiap kali Nie2 pulang, qta selalu bermain bersama. Haha.
[x] Ko anT' tnyata blm bs lulus taon ini, br bs lulus feb taon dpn. Ko anT' kecewa gtu, dy sempet down. Fny ga ad di sampingnya saat ituw.. Hmmph, maap.. Wish i was there. =( Tapi Fny bingung knp ko2 jd kecewa bgt spt ituw? Pdhl mnurut Fny gpp koq ga lulus taon ini.. Semangat ko!
[x] Ttg PKM-GT, tnyata kelompok Fny bs nyumbang 1 emas dlm kategori poster utk IPB. Yahh, sdkt kecewa knp presentasinya ga dpt jg.. Tp setidaknya Fny ga menyia2kan smua bantuan dan usaha yang telah diberikan oleh smua pihak. Dan slaen ituw, walopun ad kjadian tdk menyenangkan saat dsna, setidaknya Fny jg dpt pengalaman baru. =)

PIMNAS 2009

2009-07-19T09:53:00.002+07:00

Kelompok Fny lolos seleksi ke Pimnas.. PKM-GT..
Semoga kerja keras yg ud qta smua lakukan ga sia-sia di sana, semoga qta bs memberikan yg terbaik, semoga qta ga mengecewakan diri qta sendiri dan smua yang berharap pd qta..
Dept ITP yg ud bgtu repotnya ngurus izin bwt qta bolos prakt terpadu, yg ud rela keluarin dana tiket pesawat transport k Malang, pihak rektorat serta dosen2 yg rela repot2 utk melatih qta..
Semoga qta bs memberikan yg terbaik utk smuanya.
Sadhu3x.

We're Back

2009-07-08T21:38:00.002+07:00

anT luph Fny..
Hehehe. =p

Is My Relationship Worth Saving or Should I Let Go?

2009-06-26T08:59:00.003+07:00

Help me.

2009-06-18T14:23:00.002+07:00

Fny sayang Ko2..
Tp klo memang hubungan qta ga bs diperbaiki, klo hubungan qta malah buat qta saling menyakiti, lebih baik ga qta terusin..
Fny harap qta berdua bs bahagia..

Will I Become The Past?

2009-06-17T14:03:00.005+07:00

Barusan Fny buka emailnya krn dy minta tlg utk liatin email penting.. Stlh nyari2 dan ga ktmu, Fny ga sngaja liat message folder yg dibuat dy. Tnyta ada nama Fny dsna, isinya cm 3 email ga penting dr Fny, email Fny k dy sblm qta mulai dket. Tnyata dy sempat bwt folder khusus utk Fny..
Bgtu Fny terusin, Fny ngliat folder 'past', Fny bs nebak ap yg bakal ada di dlm folder itu. Dan bner, tnyata isinya ttg D, mantannya dlu. Fny baca smua email dlm folder itu sekilas.. Rasanya mau nangis stlah baca itu.. Entahlah, mgkn karena Fny ngbaca dr sudut orang ketiga yg ga tau apa2, rasanya sikap dy ke mantannya dlu bda banget sm sikap dy k Fny wktu qta lg jadian. Sikap dy k mantannya dlu, diliat dr email2nya ituw, manis bgt. Baik dan menghargai bgt, ga ada cuek2nya sm skali spt yg dy tunjukin k Fny slama ini.. Fny jg sempet baca bbrp sent item dy k mantannya, yang makin memperburuk perasaan Fny..
Fny emang ga tau apa2 ttg dy sblm jadian sm Fny. Dy jg ga prnah cerita2 ttg mantannya atw hubungannya dgn mantannya dlu. Krn itu ga penting..
Tp sikapnya dlu bda bgt dgn sikapnya k Fny.. Fny ga tau apa yg Fny rasain ini skrg, yg pasti bukan perasaan yg menyenangkan.. Mgkn dlu Fny trlalu nunjukin klo Fny sayang sm dy, klo Fny sneng ada dy di samping Fny, sneng klo berdua sm dy.. Fny trlalu ngebiarin diri Fny bertindak cm brdsrkan perasaan Fny k dy. Fny jadi terlalu lemah di depan dy, terlalu nunjukin smua perasaan Fny. Ga bs membatasi diri Fny sndr. Mgkn itu yg menyebabkan sikap dy spt ini k Fny. Mgkn dy jd berpikir ga usah susah2 mpertahankan Fny, krn Fny sayang sm dy dan ga akan pergi kmana2. Ga berusaha nunjukin klo dy sayang sm Fny, ga ada usaha untuk mpertahankan hubungan qta dlu..
Mgkn Fny trlalu 100% k dy.. Mgkn ini smua salah Fny..
Mgkn qta ga seharusnya bersikap 100% thd pasangan qta..
Mgkn bbrp saat lg dy akan memasukan nama Fny k dlm folder 'past' itu jg. Bdanya, folder Fny ga ad isi apapun, ga ada email2 yg nunjukin sikap manis dy k Fny..
Menyedihkan.

Hufff..

Mgkn sbnernya Fny cm jealous, ngiri sama sikap dy k mantannya ituw..

Hmmphh.

2009-06-17T10:10:00.002+07:00

Hati kecil berkata: "Belajar Fenn', katanya mau ningkatin nilai di UAS? UTS kamu nilainya keciill lohh.."
Lagi: "Ayo Fenn', ga mau smua kerja keras mu slma ini sia2 krn nilai smster ini turun kan?"
Namun kenyataannya Fny masih berada disini, di depan komputer, bersenang2 ria dengan internet dan Fb. Menunda-nunda untuk mulai belajar, terbiasa dengan prinsip kelembaman, sulit untuk memulai sesuatu..
Huff..
Ga sinkron apa yg dipikirkan dengan apa yang dilakukan niyy..
Fenn' yang bner dnk ah! Huhuhu.

He's Just Not That Into You

2009-06-17T09:07:00.002+07:00

“What if you meet the love of your life? Are you suppose to let that pass you by?”

"If a guy treats you like he doesn’t give a shit, it’s because he doesn’t give a shit."

"An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of ruining the friendship.

"If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will."

"Men don’t forget how much they like you. So put down the phone."

"Cut him off. Let him miss you."

"He doesn't need to be reminded that you're great."

"Don't be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You're deeply missable. However, he's still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he's choosing, every day, not to be with you."

"Being lonely, being alone, for many people sucks. I get it, I get it, I get it. But still I have to say that yes, my belief is that being with somebody who makes you feel shitty or doesn't honor the person you are is worse."

"Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with."

"You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time."

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope."

Maybe He is Better Off Without Me

2009-06-09T22:47:00.004+07:00

Sepertinya Fny cm jadi beban bwt ko2..
Lebih baik Fny ga ganggu Ko2 lg dgn smua hal ttg hub qta berdua. ='(

Sleeping Beauty?

2009-05-25T11:33:00.005+07:00

Belakangan ini Fny jd lebih kebo.. Tdur mulu, mlm tdur jam 10, bngun bwt siap2 kul jam 5.40 (ini jg ud dimundur2in jam bngunnya), slese kul jam10 tdur lg smpe jam1an.. Bljr jg bawaannya jd ngantuk mulu'..
Gara2 dr kmrn kebiasaan 'kabur' dari rasa sedih atau bete dengan cara tdur, jd kebawa terus2an.. Abis, klo Fny lg sedih, rasanya ga mao ngap2in, mendingan dibawa tdur tuh sedihnya, bgtu bngun bs lbh tenangan sdkt.. Klo nangis, cara ngumpet dr org2 spy ga ktauan nangis jg cm di ranjang, akhirnya ktduran krn cape. Klo bete, drpd perasaan makin ga karuan, atw drpd makin mikir mcm2, mending dibawa tidur.. Huff, jd ngerti gmn org2 bs kecanduan tidur..
Gawat.
Rasanya Fny makin ga produktif. Jam2 kosong bwt tdur, mlm tdur cpet, bngun pagi dilambat2in, bwt tgs dan bljr pun jd ga bner.. Parah. Ga baik inii..
Mesti dibiasain tdur wajar lg. Waktu kosong jgn tdur, bljr atw ngapain keq yg lbh produktif (Fb bs diblg produktif ga seh?). Rapi2in kamar yg berantakan, bwt laporan atw siap2 bljr bwt kuis dadakan dnk fenn..
Huaa, ayo semangat! Perbaikan nilai fenn! UTS jeblok smua kamu.. Huhu.

2009-05-23T11:23:00.001+07:00

"You're spending too much time in nostalgia now that your ruler, Mercury, is retrograde. You're playing the "I have regrets" game and you've forgotten to live in the moment. On Wednesday, Mercury retrograde squares escapist Neptune and you'll be lost in feelings of disappointment. Do your best to forgive yourself of any misdeeds or errors you committed in the past, and move on."

Fenny Chan' should stop playing the 'I have regrets' game and start to live in the moment. It's time to move on.

Happy Vesakh Day 2553 BE

2009-05-09T20:24:00.000+07:00

Semakin Fny mengenal ajaran Buddha, semakin Fny sadar betapa buruknya Fny..
Semoga Fny bisa terus memperbaiki diri Fny menjadi orang yang lebih baik..
Sabbe satta bhavantu sukhitatta, may all beings be free from suffering, semoga semua mahluk hidup berbahagia..

2009-05-04T09:59:00.001+07:00

Some people think holding on makes us strong,
but sometimes, it's letting go..

Rose

2009-04-19T11:42:00.007+07:00

Some say love it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razer
That leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
And you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love
In the spring
Becomes the rose

I Wish You Love

2009-04-12T11:25:00.005+07:00

I wish you bluebirds in the spring
To give your heart a song to sing
And then a kiss, but more than this
I wish you love

And in July a lemonade
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health
But more than wealth
I wish you love

My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I could never be
So with my best
My very best
I set you free

I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
But most of all when snowflakes fall
I wish you love

2009-04-10T15:47:00.002+07:00

Hmm, dapet tawaran kedua kalinya utk jd SPG foodreview. Blm tau jelas dmn jaga standnya, tp pngen cb.. Hari Jumat ini tp, jd bolos kul aj kali nanti.. Hwehe. Lmyn bwt nambah pengalaman sekaligus pemasukan.. Tawaran ptama ga bs Fny ambil krn wktu ituw full kul, kan sayang klo ga dicoba tuhh.

Be Strong..

2009-03-23T10:29:00.011+07:00

I’m such a hypocrite. I convinced everyone that i'm okay. I make everyone sure that i’m better off without him, when i’m nowhere near from the fact.

I still find it hard to sleep at night. Every night seems like another lonely night for me. I cry myself to sleep, wake up in the morning with swollen eyes and headache. When i'm all alone, my mind always lead me back to him. My eyes are holding back the tears. Memories keep playing like a film without sound, make it much harder to forgetting him.

Why does it hurt me so?

Cry and act a fool for him leaves me battling with my pride, i can't help it. But my pride won’t let every other person see me act a fool. I'll be damned if i let them know.

"Be Strong.."

He said. His words make me believe i can through this despite of the sadness. Make me realize that he still care for me. Little care from him is enough now..

Maybe our hearts will find a way someday. Or maybe i'll just find another person. I'll just live my life and searching for the best. Now all i can do is hope and pray..

The Break Up

2009-03-14T07:26:00.003+07:00

Him : ".. Klo ktmu yg lbh baik dr q knp ga.. Ya kan.. Bneran loh"

Her : "Itu jg yg Ko2 pikirkan bwt diri Ko2 kan?"

Him : "Weks"

Her : "Pasti bnyk koq yg lbh baik dr Fny.. Klo Ko2 ga bs nerima kekurangan Fny, yaud, dr skrg aj putusin. Trus cr yg lbh baik, drpd buang2 wktu."

Him : "Weks.."

Her : "Fny ga berpikiran negatif spt Ko2, ga prnah nganggep Ko2 'cadangan' sblum dpt yg lbh baik.. Cm Ko2 yg brpikir spt itu thd Fny."

No reply, and she is not waiting for reply.
She made the decision that night, and then she wrote

Her : "Ko2, qta putus aj.. Ko2 ga berpikir ttg hub qta spt yg Fny pikirkan. Mgkn sbnernya qta sm skali ga cocok, mgkn qta terlalu maksa slma ini.."

Him : "Tuk saat ini mungkin lbh baik.. Tp jgn kyk gini dunk.. Bisa kan scr bae2.."

Her : "Jujur, Fny sakit hati krn Ko2 cm anggap Fny cadangan.."

Him : "Apa.. Q ga prnah anggap kmu cadangan.. Sama sekali ga.."

Her : "Mgkn Ko2 mmg ga prnah scr sadar mikir bgtu, tp ap yg td Ko2 blg jls2 nunjukin klo Ko2, dlm hati Ko2, mprlakukan Fny sbg cadangan.."

Him : "Terserah kmu d. Q cm ingin hub qta ga b'akhir buruk kyk gni.. Kmu hrs terima klo mmg qta ga sepandangan.. Plis."

Her : "Ya, dr dlu Fny ud ngrasa, tp Fny msh mau usaha. Kyknya dr awal Ko2 ud ga nganggep Fny atw smua usaha2 Fny, smua perasaan fny yg ud Fny ksh bwt Ko2. Mau gmn lg? Kyknya skrg saat yg tpat, wktu qta lg jauh, saat Fny mulai trbiasa ga ad Ko2, jrg contact jg. Dah, ga usa bls lg please. Drpd Fny smakin ga bs kontrol perasaan Fny.."

THE END

Searching for a Dream. Part 1.

2009-03-09T11:14:00.003+07:00

Fny belum tau apa yg sbnernya Fny mau dalam hidup Fny.. Fny cm ingin hidup bahagia, tp Fny ga punya spesifikasi mimpi apa yang ingin Fny capai. Target hidup Fny belum spesifik, Fny masih bingung.. Selama ini emang Fny belum merencanakan hidup Fny dengan benar, masih kebanyakan ikut2an.. Fny harus memikirkan target hidup Fny secara spesifik sekarang, sebelum terlambat.. Fny ga mau hanya ikutin arus..

Fny ingin hidup bahagia, apa yang harus Fny capai agar Fny bisa hidup bahagia?
Dari sini muncul lagi pertanyaan:
Apa yang menurut Fny penting dalam hidup ini? Apa yang membuat Fny bahagia?
Fny bahagia berkumpul sama orang2 trdekat yang Fny sayang dan cintai,
Fny bahagia klo ngeliat org2 baik berbahagia (Hmm, seharusnya Fny bahagia klo semua mahluk berbahagia, tp terus terang itu masih susah bwt Fny.. Masih harus menumbuhkan cinta kasih dan belas kasih yang universal),
Fny sneng ngliat Papa bahagia,
Fny mau bisa membantu, setidaknya sedikit membantu org2 yang kesusahan,
Fny bahagia kalau Fny dicintai dan disayang,
Fny senang bermain dengan binatang peliharaan,
Fny mau belajar menjadi manusia yang lebih baik, menjadi seorang yang selalu berusaha memperbaiki dirinya,
Fny mau memenuhi 'my value circle' yang telah Fny buat bersama ko anT': Kebebasan financial, sahabat dan teman-teman, kebebasan waktu, cinta&keluarga, pengembangan diri.

Fny harus menemukan sebuah mimpi yang bisa memenuhi jawaban-jawaban di atas. Tp apa? Mimpi apa yang bisa memenuhi smua jawaban ituw? Impian yang spesifik..
Masih harus memikirkan ini lagi.. Masih belum tau.. Hmph..

Semoga Fny bisa segera menemukan mimpi Fny..
Bisa segera mngejar mimpi itu tanpa bimbang atau ragu.

2009-03-07T12:45:00.001+07:00

Fny ga suka sendirian di mlm hari..
Rasanya mlm jadi panjang dan sepi..
Hiks.

Learning.

2009-02-28T20:33:00.002+07:00

Fny belajar untuk tidak banyak menuntut waktu dr Ko anT'. Belajar untuk jd cwe yang tegar dan mandiri.. Sering ksepian dsini karena blum terbiasa.. Tp terus dijalanin aj, dan belajar untuk terbiasa..
Huaa.
Gilang jd pelarian sementara niy.. Hahaha.
Tampaknya dy jg menjadikan Fenny pelarian koq. Mutualisme sementara gpp lah ya..

Still Holding On To You

2009-02-12T17:26:00.005+07:00

Belakangan ini selalu aj ad masalah dlm hub Fny dgn Ko Ant.. Ko2 blg, bg dy hub qta baik2 aj, dy blg Fny yg membesar2kan masalah..
Fny ga ngerti, rasanya selama pacaran, kualitas rasa sayang Fny ke Ko2 ga berubah, sikap Fny jg ga berubah.. Fny ngerasa Ko2 yang berubah sikap ke Fny.. Belakangan Fny sering uring2an karena sikap Ko2 yang cuek bgt. Komunikasi qta, menurut Fny, sgt minim. Fny ngrasa sdkt iri sm pasangan lain yg selalu dekat meskipun lokasi mereka berjauhan.. Qta berdua jarang telponan, sms jarang, kalopun sms dy blsnya spt ogah2an cm sepatah dua patah kata, ktnya susah ngetik.. Sikap Ko2 ke Fny dingin bgt. Waktu Fny angkat masalah ini, Ko2 lgsg nanya maunya Fny spt apa.. Dy malah nanya, sms mau sehari brp kali, nelpon brp kali.. Malah spt Fny yang nentuin 'kewajiban' buat Ko2.. Fny ga mau hub qta cm sekedar memenuhi 'kewajiban'. Fny mau Ko2 pny inisiatif untuk menghubungi Fny, inisiatif buat nunjukin klo Ko2 masih sayang sm Fny, buat nunjukin usahanya mempertahankan hubungan qta. Fny mau Ko2 nunjukin klo dy menghargai hubungan qta, bukan cm sekedar basa-basi menuhin 'kewajiban' seorg pacar..
Fny tau Ko2 orgnya cuek, aplg ke pacarnya.. Tp rasanya kalo untuk sekedar komunikasi aj mls, gmn hub qta bs berkembang.. Gmn Fny bs percaya ke Ko2 kalau Ko2 sndr ga nunjukin ke Fny kalo dy sayang sm Fny..
Fny bingung, kykny Ko2 susah bgt ngertiin Fny. Pdhl kyknya dari awal sampe akhir masalah qta cm ini2 aj.. Qta sering bgt berantem.. Fny ga tau, apkh hub ini lebih baik dipertahankan atw dilepaskan.. Yang Fny tau pasti, sampai saat ini Fny masih sayang sm Ko2..

Just Stand Up

2009-02-01T13:53:00.004+07:00

Everything will be alright again

The heart is stronger than you think
Like it could go through everything
And even when you thing it can't
It find a way to stil push on

Sometimes you want to run away
Ain't got the patience for the pain
And if you don't believe it, look into your heart
The beat goes on

I'm telling you things got better through whatever
If you fall, dust it off, don't let up
Don't you know you can go be your own miracle
You need to know!

If the mind keeps thingking you've had enough
But the heart is teling you 'don't give up'
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what?
Don't give up, through it all, just stand up

Ooh, it's like we all had better days
Problems getting all up in your face
Just because you go through it
Don't mean it gotta take control, no

You ain't gotta find no hiding place
Because the heart can beat the hate
Don't wanna let the mind keep playing you
Saying you can't go on

I'm telling you things got better through whatever
If you fall, dust it off, don't let up
Don't you know you can go be your own miracle
You need to know!

If the mind keeps thingking you've had enough
But the heart is teling you 'don't give up'
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what?
Don't give up, through it all, just stand up
Through it all, just stand up

You don't gotta be a prisoner in your mind
If you fall, dust it off, you can live your life
Yeah, let your heart be your guide

You will know there's a good if you trust the good
Everything will be alright, yeah
Light up the dark, if you follow your heart
And it will get better through whatever

If the mind keeps thingking you've had enough
But the heart is teling you 'don't give up'
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what?
Don't give up, through it all, just stand up

You got it in you, find it within
You got it in now, find it within now
You got it in you, find it within
You got it in now, find it within now

You got it in you, find it within
You got it in now, find it within now
Find it within you, find it within
Through it all, just stand up!

So Romantic!

2009-01-15T08:39:00.004+07:00

“Do you think I’ll ever get better at this? That my heart might someday stop trying to jump out of my chest whenever you touch me?” –Bella Swan

"You are not.. Well, not exactly the love of my life, because I expect to love you much longer than that. The love of my existence." -Bella Swan

”I just want it to be official — that you belong to me and no one else.” –Edward Cullen

“After all the thousand times I’ve told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?” –Edward Cullen

“It’s not like love at first sight, really. It’s more like… Gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it’s not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that’s a protector, or a lover, or a friend, or a brother.” –Jacob Black

“Do you truly believe that you care more for me than I do for you?” -Edward Cullen

“Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars- points of light and reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.” -Edward Cullen

"I'll be back soon, you won't have time to miss me. Look after my heart - I've left it with you." -Edward Cullen

"You are utterly indecent, no one should look so tempting, it’s not fair." -Edward Cullen

Edward: "Do I dazzle you?"
Bella: "Frequently."

New Year New Me

2009-01-02T12:49:00.002+07:00

Rencana Fny di tahun 2009 ini:
[x]Self development. Pengembangan diri adalah satu hal utama yang Fny rencanakan dalam tahun ini. Fny ingin memperbaiki diri Fny untuk menjadi orang yang lebih baik dalam segala hal. Melatih diri Fny dalam mengendalikan emosi supaya Fny lebih sabar, tidak mudah marah atau terbawa emosi, dan bisa berpikiran lebih dewasa serta bijaksana dalam mengambil keputusan.
[x]Love&Life. Di tahun 2008 kemarin, salah satu 'peristiwa penting' yang terjadi pada Fny adalah datangnya Ko anT dalam hidup Fny. Perubahan ini memberi dampak yang sangat berarti buat Fny. Rasanya setelah ada Ko2 di samping Fny, Fny banyak berubah. Fny mulai menarik diri dari teman-teman dan lebih mementingkan hubungan Fny dengan Ko anT, bahkan kuliah pun sedikit terlepas dari pegangan Fny. Fny merasa hubungan Fny dengan teman-teman dekat menjadi sedikit renggang, Fny mulai jarang menghabiskan waktu luang bersama mereka. Mungkin secara ga sadar Fny jadi seperti hanya memanfaatkan mereka bila Ko anT ga ada atau kalau qta (Fny dan teman-teman) sedang mengerjakan tugas kuliah. Fny ga pernah bermaksud seperti itu, tapi ga bisa Fny pungkiri kalau teman-teman telah sangat membantu Fny. Fny rasa hubungan seperti ini kurang baik. Fny akan mulai memperbaiki ini sekarang. Ga terlalu mementingkan kebersamaan Fny dengan Ko anT (Fny tau ini akan sulit dilakukan, coz i couldnt resist the comfortness while i'm with him), dan Fny akan mengatur waktu untuk semua aspek dengan seimbang. I'll work on it.
[x]Girl stuff. Fny mau belajar lebih memperindah diri Fny: make-up, clothes, and other girl stuff. Mau mulai memakai make-up yang minimalis, mengatur pola makan dengan benar, dan mulai merawat diri. Haha!
Kuliah. Untuk urusan kuliah, di tahun 2009 ini Fny ingin memperbaiki nilai dari semester 5. Dan melanjutkan ke semester 6 dengan baik. Fny juga ingin mencari pengalaman dalam kegiatan-kegiatan yang Fny belum pernah ikuti sebelumnya. Lalu kalau bisa Fny ingin segera memulai penelitian untuk skripsi mungkin sekitar akhir tahun 2009. Proyek dari dosen atau penelitian sendiri, apapun itu, yang penting bisa bermanfaat bagi pangan dunia (wow). Mungkin proyek dari dosen labih simpel.
[x]Else, i want to improve my English skill (its important nowadays). Speak or writting in English fluently. I need it to support my work and social life.

Semoga Fny bisa menjalankan semua yang telah Fny pikirkan ini.
Semangat Fenn!
Hopefully,

Happy New Year!

2009-01-02T12:28:00.003+07:00

2009. A new start, a new chapter, a new beginning..

Going on a Diet

2008-11-15T13:04:00.004+07:00

Mao mulai ngurusin badan niy.. Setelah 2 minggu makan mulu'.. Ujian malah menumpuk lemak.. Weks..
Ga gtu enak punya body type kyk Fny, gampang naek gampang turun.. Enakan type kyk Yurin, bnyk makan tp ga ndut2, lemaknya malah numpuk di bagian2 tertentu yg tepat.. Curaaang.. Huhu. *Karma mu ituw Fenn.. Ugh!
Target: berat konstan 48 kg..

Hope for The Best, Expect The Worst

2008-11-12T16:37:00.005+07:00

Waa.. Ujian tinggal satu.. Leganya. Phew.
Kangen sm situasi yang nyantai di rumah, mao pulang.. Kangen sm sodara2 dari keluarga Papa, terutama Popo.. Dah lama ga ktmu, jgn2 Popo dah lupa sm Fny..
Kangen sm tmen2 lama, kangen sm ank2 422a dulu..
Mao pulaaanngg..
...
Tp sblumnya masih ada ujian evaluasi sensori menghadang.. Tetep semangat Fenn..
Mao ntn LCTIP tp tak kuasa menahan rindu suasana rumah.. He..

So Far So Good

2008-11-07T08:36:00.003+07:00

Empat UTS dah berlalu.. Smpe saat ini masih lancar2 aj..
Smoga tetep lancar hingga akhir yah.
Di semester ini harusnya ga ad nilai yg jatuh, ga ad mata kuliah yg aneh spt kimifis or metstat dulu.. Huhu.
Semangat Fenn!

Now I Know How He Felt

2008-10-26T08:20:00.002+07:00

Fenny skrg tau gmn perasaan dy dulu wktu tau Fenny jadian with someone new..
Ga tau knp, rasanya Fenny blom bs ngliat dy dket sm ce laen..
Pdhl Fenny dah sama Ko anT', Fenny sayang koq sama ko anT'..
Ga ngerti perasaan sndr d jdny..
*sigghhh..

2008-10-04T21:03:00.003+07:00

Baru aj pulang..
Bis dr Gading sm Ko Wagner td. Nyambung jg tnyata sm Ko Wag. Trus dy bae bgt, mao nmenin Fny muter2 cr barang bwt someone.. Muter2 mpe 3jam an, trus mkn.. Hehe.
Spt biasa, Fny yg buta arah parah gtu.. Huhu. Untung Ko Wag dah hafal jln dsana..
Sblum msk kul mao k dapur cokelat brg dy lg..
Tq Ko Wag.. =)

Update,, Update,

2008-09-28T18:58:00.003+07:00

Hmm, rasanya dah lama ga nulis..
Update terbaru:
[x] Ultah Fny yg k 20 tgl 3Sept. Smpet mutusin Ko2 krn Fny pikir Ko2 ud ga sayang lg sm Fny dan Fny dah ga tahan berantem mulu' sm dy, Fny sampe berderai2 air mata gtu.. Tp ga jd krn ko2 ud nyiapin surprise party bwt Fny.
[x] Berantem, berantem, berantem mulu' sm Ko2.. Break 1 mgg, yg tnyata ga bs terwujud.. Krn qta berdua slalu pngen ktmu (atw krn Fny slalu pngen ktmu?). Haha.
[x] Rame2 pegi ke Dufan tgl 22Sept.. Seru abis, sepi pula!
[x] Smpe saat ini hub Fny sm Ko2 terus berlanjut, smoga berkembang ke arah yg lbh baik..
[x] Skrg Fny lg mikirin hadiah ultah bwt Ko2, skalian surprisenya, mao membalas dy yg membwt Fny nangis saat ultah.. Hoho.. Awas yah Ko2! Hmm.. Tp klo ga kpikiran mao surprisenya gmn, yasuw rayain ultahnya spt biasa saja.. Yg pasti tmen2nya bkalan siapin peralatan bwt ngerjain Ko2 tuh.. Ehe.

2008-08-30T07:30:00.003+07:00

Ko2 minta maaf kmrn..

Now It's All Up to Him

2008-08-29T08:15:00.013+07:00

Fny ribet krn trlalu mikirin ko2, krn ga mao ko2 ngrasain yg sm spt yg fny rasain saat ko2 ga peduli sm fny. Ok, klo gtu mulai mlm ini fny ga akn mikirin ko2 lg. Trsera ko2 hub qta mao diapain krn fny ga akn mikirin ituw. Fny cape, ko2 ga ngerti fny, bahkan ko2 ga ngerti klo fny bner2 mikirin perasaan ko2..

Bbrp hari yg lalu fny smpet ksel ma ko2 krn hari ituw fny berulang kali nyariin dy tp dy lg ga ad, wktu ktmu dy pun dy lg mao pegi maen basket. Ko Adi jg tau fny dah berulang2 nyariin dy. Malamny, fny telp sms dy berulang-ulang tp tnyata dy ga bw hp. Stlah dy plg dan ngliat hp, harusny dy tau klo fny dah ksel ma dy. Tp yg dy lakukan cm telp fny, yg fny sngaja ga angkat, trus kirim 1 sms yg ga fny respon. Udah, gtu doank. Ga ad inisiatif k 99 bwt nyariin fny. Fny qra dy bakalan inisiatif dtg k 99.. Bru stlah fny minta akhirny dy dtg. Fny blg k dy koq ga ad inisiatif k 99, dy bilang lg ad tmen2ny dsana jd ga bs ninggalin kamarny! Apaan seh, 45 k 99 kan dket, masa ga bs ditinggal sbntar?? Fny jd ngrasa klo ko2 ga peduli sm fny dibandingin thd tmen2ny.. Ko2 jg srg acuhin fny klo qta lg jln rame2 sm tmen2ny, fny ga ngerti knp..
Satu hari stlah ituw, dy ninggalin fny yg lg tdur, berduaan sm ko Adi di kmrny. Cb pikir, fny yg lg tdur ditinggalin berduaan doank sm cowo normal di dlm kamarny.. Kykny klo ko2 bner2 sayang sm fny seharusny dy ga akn ninggalin fny yg lg tdur bgtu aj di kmr berduaan doank sm cowo. Yah, mgkn dy pikir aman2 aj krn cowo ituw Ko Adi, tp ttep aj, Ko Adi kan cowo normal..
Mgkn dua hal di ats ituw cm perasaan fny aj.. Tp td mlm, ko2 blg fny 'RIBET' krn fny mao tmenin dy yg lg sakit kepala (ktny krn keujanan) mpe dy tdur.. Fny ga enak, sblumny fny nangis krn ksel sm dy, fny pikir mgkn fny jg mberi tekanan k dy.. Fny pngen nmenin ko2, spy moga2 dy bs merasa lebih rileks. Fny cm mao nunjukin klo saat ituw fny gpp, jd ko2 ga usa mikirin fny yg td ud nangis di dpn dy.. Tp dy malah bilang fny ribet. Pdhl ituw smua krn fny mikirin dy.. Fny sedih sekaligus marah saat ituw..
Fny harap ko2 bisa lebih menghargai fny. Fny akan ngrasa sgt sneng klo ko2 melakukan ituw meskipun untuk hal-hal kecil..

2008-08-27T10:04:00.002+07:00

Jelek, dr kmrn bikin kesel mulu', skrg malah ngumpetin sesuatu..
Knp seh ga jujur aj, pdhl fny ga bakal marah kalopun dy nyimpen yang aneh2.. Wajar koq cowo pny yg sejenis ituw..
Hmmph, payah ih!

I'm Such a Big Crybaby.. T.T

2008-08-02T14:30:00.006+07:00

Payah niy, utk mslh2 tertentu fny ngerasa klo fny bner2 cengeng.. Gmn yah, pdhl ga niat nangis, tp tnga2 wktu lg ngomongin mslh ituw fny tb2 nangis sndr.. Kykny susaah bgt ngendaliin ny.. Stlh berkali2 mikir, 'knp fny nangis utk mslh spt ini tp ga utk mslh2 lain?', fny br sadar.. Mslh2 yg bwt fny nangis adlh mslh2 yg bwt fny ksel, ksel bgt atw lebih tepatny sedih krn fny ga bs melakukan ap2 dan fny bner2 ga berdaya.. Utk mslh lain dmana fny bs melakukan sesuatu utk memperbaiki hal tersebut fny ga nangis koq.. Walopun sbnerny nangis tuh bs diblg wajar, tp ttep aj, fny mao ilangin cengeng ny fny.. Malu, dah gde masih nangis2 sgala.. Fny jg takut org2 yg berpikiran negatif menilai klo fny ituw nangis cm bwt narik simpati..
Slaen wktu ad mslh dmna fny ga bs berbuat ap2, fny jg kadang nangis wktu ntn film sedih, bahkan ntn film yg happy ending yg mengharukan pun fny sering nangis.. Keluarga fny pernah mentertawakan dan mengejek fny krn nangis wktu ntn film wktu fny msh kecil, smpe skrg fny ga mao terang2an nangis lg di dpn mrka wktu ntn film.. Perasaan fny terlalu halus kah? Terlalu ikut merasakan ksedihan org lain, pdhl cm dlm film.. Tp ap 'ikut merasakan ksedihan org lain' ituw salah smpe2 fny diktawain dan diejek sm kluarga sndr? Hmmph, emg seh fny kadang ngrasa klo mrka ga gtu bs ngertiin fny..
Sigh..'

I'll Be Missing Him

2008-07-01T00:24:00.003+07:00

Hmph,,
ko2 KKP slama 2 bln liburan ini..
Ga bs ktmu..
Pdhl liburan, tp malah ga bs sm2 ko2..
Payah..
Hiks.

Preparing for The Final Exam

2008-06-14T12:03:00.000+07:00

Bljr Fen,,
bljr..

When You Kiss Me

2008-06-14T11:34:00.006+07:00

I'm in heaven when you kiss me
Show me how you miss me
Take me with you back to wonderland
You know I couldn't resist
I go crazy when you kiss me
Yeah I miss, every time i'm with you
Every time that we kiss

And when you kiss me
I know you miss me
Oh, the world just goes away
When you kiss me

2008-05-19T12:08:00.002+07:00

Bahkan jika seluruh dunia dan isinya dipenuhi oleh hasil dari karma-karma buruk,
bahkan jika hujan penderitaan jatuh pada diriku berlawanan keinginanku,
mohon berkati aku untuk melihat ini sebagai jalan menghabiskan karma negatifku,
dan mengubah keadaan yang sulit ini menjadi suatu praktik Mahayana.
(bla-ma mchod-pa)

But I Love Him,,

2008-04-27T10:53:00.007+07:00

Bbrp hr ini Fny sering bgt ksel gr2 dy.. Mgkn krn Fny lg sensi ditambah sikapny k Fny bgtu mulu'.. Fny ngerasa dy ga bs ngertiin Fny, pdhl dy tau klo Fny ud berulang kali dibuat ksel sama dy, dan smuany krn masalah yg hampir sama.. Dy bilang Fny yg sering bete bikin dy mls hubungin Fny, pdhl Fny yg dibuat ksel krn dy harusny lebih males.. Tp nyatany Fny tetep hubungin dy dan berusaha nglupain smua masalah yg ud lewat kan.. Ko2 ga bs ngertiin Fny, klo Fny selagi bisa selalu pngen dket sama dy, klo Fny telpon dy artiny Fny pngen ngobrol sm dy, klo Fny smpe minta dy dtg artiny Fny bner-bner pngen ktmu sm dy dan Fny bakalan nungguin dy.. Fny sndr cape dibuat ksel mulu' sm Ko2.. Fny sbnerny ga mao, Fny jg selalu berusaha buat ngilangin kekesalan Fny bgtu rasa ksel ituw muncul.. Tp Fny blom bner2 bisa ngontrol emosi Fny sndr.. Hmmph..

2008-04-19T09:28:00.001+07:00

UTS dah slese..
Aduw, kykny mngalami pnurunan nilai niy..
Tampakny akan bersusah payah mngejar nilai untuk bbrp mata kuliah saat ujian akhir nanti..
Huhu..

I Feel Like I'm Addicted to Him

2008-03-20T16:38:00.005+07:00

Hmm,,
Fny suka berdua sama dy, sukaa bgt.. Rasany pngen sama dy mulu', aplg klo qta berdua lg ad di Bgr.. Krn dket dan ga susah ktmuan, qta berdua pasti selalu menyempatkan diri buat ktmu..
Dulu Fny ga berani terlalu nunjukin perasaan Fny k dy. Fny takut klo dy mikir yang aneh-aneh ttg Fny. Tp krn Fny yg spt ituw, Ko2 malah ngira Fny kurang antusias k dy. Fny dianggap pasif..
Sekarang Fny mulai berani bermanja-manja sama dy.. Fny sukaa bermanja-manja sama dy.. Ga mao lepas dan selalu pngen lama-lama berduaan.. Fny selalu pngen dket sama dy.. Fny ngerasa nyaman sama Ko2..
Rasany Fny mulai addicted sama dy.. Fny sayang sama dy.. Sayang bgt sama Ko2..
Semoga perasaan Fny ini ga mengganggu Ko2 yah.. Fny jg ga mao Fny (jg Ko2) lupa ttg hal-hal penting laenny krn hubungan qta.. Semoga qta berdua bs terus berkembang ke arah yg lebih baik dlm hubungan ini.. =)

Valentine's Day, 14 Feb'08

2008-02-14T11:53:00.000+07:00

The day we 'officially' became a couple..
He kiss me on my forehad.. =)
Love him..

Happy valz day everyone!

Flag This!

2008-02-05T13:56:00.000+07:00

http://ihateindon.blogspot.com/
Kurang kerjaan bgt d tuh yg bwt blog ini.. Isinya smua mnjlek2an Indonesia! Ga tau yg nulis warga negara mana,, tp di profileny dy bwt location di Jkt(?!) dan dy membanding2kan Indonesia sm Malaysia. Ngapain cb? Drpd gtu kan masih bnyk hal laen yg bisa dikerjain.
Sdkt 'panas' wktu baca tuh blog.. Fny pikir,, apaan seh, klo dy pny wktu bwt ngjlek2in Indonesia knp ga mikirin hal2 laen yg lebih berguna.. Mikirin ttg SDM "negarany yg tercinta" misalny,, knp bisa ada org2 spt dy yg ga bertanggung jawab ngata2in negara laen seenakny gtu. Knp dy ga mikirin peningkatan moral dan etika SDM negarany spy ga ad lg org2 spt dy?? Wah, usul bgs tuh. Hrs kasih comment di blog dy niy, sapa tau dy ga pernah mikir spt ituw.. Cck2..

Finally,,

2008-02-04T22:02:00.000+07:00

We met..
And we have a great date..
After the date, he walks me home.
He walked me to the door, hug me tightly,whisper a good-bye, then walk away, turning to wave to me.
He hug me! *blush
So happy,, o"o

...

Tp bis ituw dy telp Fny lg,, lupa ambil buku pny tmennya yg ad di Fny. Akhirnya krn blom mao pisah, Fny malah ikut turun lg k bwh bwt nganterin dy. Ahaha.

A Precious Human Life

2008-02-01T13:07:00.000+07:00

Everyday, think as you wake up. Today I'm fortunate to have woken up, I'm alive, I have a precious human life, I'm not going to waste it. I'm going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, I'm going to have kind thoughts toward others. I'm not going to get angry, or think badly about others, I'm going to benefit others as much as i can

(H.H., The XIV Dalai Lama)

Hmmph,,

2008-02-01T12:05:00.000+07:00

Lagi2 rencana dy bwt dtg k tmpt Fny batal..
Kali ini krn ujan yg ga brenti2,, bahkan di bbrp tmpt di Jkt, termasuk rmhny ud banjir.. Moga2 ujanny brenti..
Dan lagi2 qta berdua harus menahan keinginan utk ktmu..

I Miss Him So Much.. *sob

2008-01-31T12:47:00.000+07:00

Kmrn sahabatny, Bam, seharian memonopoli dy..
Harusny hari ituw qta pegi berdua, tp krn Bam tb2 bolos dari tmpt kerjany cm spy mrka ber2 bs pegi, Fny jd ga bs nyuruh dy ninggalin Bam dan ttep pegi brg Fny.. Lgpl Bam jg jrg ktmu ma dy,, klo lg di Indo aj bru bs ktmuan.. Fny blg, hari ini Bam boleh memonopoli dy, tp laen kali Fny yg memonopoli dy seharian.
Mlmny, dy nginep di rmh Bam.. Dy spt 'nagih' kata2 Fny yg blg klo Bam boleh memonopoliny seharian.. Fny blg gpp, trus Fny serius blg jgn srg2 Bam memonopoli dy, kan ga lucu klo Fny jealous sm Bam.. Tp dy nanggepin Fny spt maen2,, Fny jd ksel.. Fny sms, ga ditanggepin.. Pasti keasyikan maen brg Bam..
Fny bete sndr jdny,, pdhl ud dr bbrp hr yang lalu rencana qta pegi brg batal mulu', pdhl Fny ud kangen berat ma dy.. Pdhl dy jg srg bilang klo dy kangen ma Fny.. But does he mean it when he say it?? Or did he say it just to please me??
Akhirny Fny blg k dy, laen kali jgn cuekin Fny lg, cm satu hari ituw aj dy nyuekin Fny.. Hmmph,, mgkn krn Fny terlalu kangen ma dy jd Fny mikir klo dy nyuekin Fny.. Mgkn dy ga bermaksud nyuekin Fny.. Dan emang stlah ituw dy blg klo dy ga pernah niat nyuekin Fny.. Trus krn kata2 Fny tsb, skrg dy jg malah jd ksel ma Fny.. Mgkn emang bbrp hari ini Fny nyebelin bgt,, annoying bwt dy.. *sigh
Gmn niy..

2008-01-28T18:19:00.000+07:00

Wew,, kykny bbrp hari ini perasaan Fny sedang meluap-luap..
Untung lg happy, jd Fny turut membuat org lain ikut sneng.. =)
Tp kykny perlu sdkt diredam niy.. Ga bgs jg terlalu menunjukan perasaan muw Fny,, ntar seseorg merasa gmn gtuu..

Huah!!

2008-01-24T10:57:00.000+07:00

Akhirny,, setelah menghadapi ujian bertubi-tubi, masa ujian ituw lwt jg.. Phew. Skrg tgl menunggu hasil smbil berharap-harap cemas..

Biokim dah kluar!
...
...
...
A!
Ahaha,, senangny!!

PTP jg!
A!
Hoho..
Senang,, senang, tampakny kerja keras Fny bwt 2 MK ituw memberikan hasil.. Ehe.
Smoga MK lainny jg bgtu..

Slideshow

2008-01-01T19:58:00.000+07:00

Foto2 Dufan yg dulu Fny buat jd slideshow.. Lmyn keren kan. Ehehe.

Btw,, tnyata idung Fny pesEeekk bgt yah, br perhatiin foto sndr di template yg baru ini. Hwe.

Happy New Year 2008!

2008-01-01T14:51:00.000+07:00

Smoga Fny bs terus memperbaiki diri di tahun ini..
Smoga kluarga Fny, terutama Papa selalu sehat dan bahagia..
Smoga orang-orang terdekat Fny, orang yang Fny sayangin, tmen dan sahabat2 Fny hidup berbahagia..

Sabbe satta bhavantu sukhitatta,
Semoga semua mahluk hidup berbahagia

Tahun ini diawali dengan hal yang menyenangkan.. Semoga awal yang mnyenangkan ituw berlanjut terus yah,, hwehe.
Burung anT'u maaci.. =)

Ko anT' =]

2007-12-30T20:26:00.000+07:00

Burung anT'u quw baru aj pulang.. Hari ini dy tb2 blg mao ktmu,, nanya alamat, dan bneran dtg sambil ngasih oleh2 dari Surabaya, brem sm bakpia yang dy blg mesti dimakan (hahah!). Ktny baru pulang dr gereja, berarti dy bawa2 tuh brem dan bakpia selama di gereja dnk? Cck2..
Wktu ngobrol, Ko anT' sempet nepok2 kepala Fny.. Huh,, dasar, memperlakukan Fny spt anak kcl.. Tp entah knp Fny sneng digtuin, hwehe.
Ga lama, burung anT'u pulang,, soalny ud mlm dan dy masih mesti beli bhn2 utk bbq-an brg keluargany bsk.. Sblum plg dy nepok2 kepala Fny lg tuh.. Trus wktu Fny di dlm lift k ats Ko anT' sms,

Doain spy tw jln plg ya..

Wekeke,, bela2in gtu dtg k tmpt fny pdhl lmyn jauh dan ga tau jln.. Maaci ya burung anT'u quw.. "Thank you,, come again." Ehehe.

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-25T19:25:00.000+07:00

If 1 night a big fat man jumps in at your window, grabs u & puts u in a sack, don't worry! I told SANTA, i wanted you for christmas!
Ant2feN

Let It Flow

2007-12-02T13:12:00.001+07:00

Don't search for love, let love search for you.
That's why its called falling in love, because you don't actually force yourself to love,,
u just fall..

Fny ga mao terburu2 dlm masalah ini,,
spy qta ga saling menyakiti atw merasa disakiti..

2007-11-10T19:25:00.000+07:00

Senangny,, senang.. UTS tlah berlalu.. Bs sdkt nyantai lg.. Kmrn fny jg ud pembalasan krn kurang tdur selama ujian loh. Hoho.
Hmm,, skrg cm tgl tunggu hasilny aj,, ga tau d gmn tuh biokim sm kimor ny.. Parah2.. Hwe,, serem niy.. Serem..

Random Things

2007-10-31T21:04:00.000+07:00

Huah!

[1] Br saja menghadapi ujian mikdas yg ga bs dibilang gmpang,, susah malah..
[2] Masih bakalan sibuk dng UTS terus utk satu mgg k dpn..
[3] Hubungan sm Ko mkn aneh,, mgkn Ko ud ga peduli lg sm Fny..
[4] Lg berusaha supaya bs mulai bersikap biasa k Ko..
[5] Mao mulai nyoba pke 'gw&lu' bwt ngobrol sm Ko.. Ko aj ud sering pke 'gw&lu' ituw k Fny.. Tp entah knp Fny jd ngerasa 'gw&lu' ituw kasar klo Ko yg ngomong k Fny,, pdhl klo ngomong sm yg laen jg Fny biasany pke 'gw&lu'..
[6] Ko Ant lucu,, bae, trus ramaah.. Dy sering menambahkan kt2,

"hei juz wanna say
iTz nic3
2 haVe smS w/ u
Chung Li fEn'
alias Kalong.."

Fny jd ngerasa dy menghargai Fny bgt tuh.. Memang burung hntu quw yg lucu nan baik,, ehehe..
[7] Bsk ud mesti mulai bljr lg,, males.. Aduw,, gawat neh klo males2an mulu.. Bljr2..

2007-10-18T11:23:00.000+07:00

He?? Si 'Jomul' tb2 sms Fny..
Ptama kali sms pke "-demas-" gtu di bwhny..
Ktny tau no Fny dr Feriana,, mao nagih biaya penitipan kcmt wktu di Dufan.. Hahah,, ga ad alasan laen yg lbh bgs ap bwt ptama kali sms Fny.. Cck2..
Fny br tau, dy tgl 13 Okt kmrn ultah tuh..
Hmm,, anakny lucu, kocak.. Ad 1 sms dr dy yg bwt Fny ngakak, bner2 ngakak wktu bc tuh sms.. Yah walaupun tuh sms sbenerny bwt ngatain Fny seh (hu..),, tp cr dy ngatain tuh kreatif bgt! Ngaco bgt,, ahahah.
Tnyata bnyk jg y,, co2 yg sms pke aq km..
Trus2,, Hendra, tmen baru yg diknalin ma Ko Deni, jg srg sms tuh.. Tp Fny males blsny.. Tak mau trlalu srg bersmsan dgnny ah.. Lgpl Ko Deni ad2 aj,, br jg knal ma tmenny ituw, dy ud ngejodoh2in gtu. Weks2,, Fny tau niat dy bae, spy Fny bs ngelupain Ko.. Tp ga perlu sampe nyariin yg baru gtu kan.. Fny bs koq nyari sndr.. Muahahah.
-'Till i get over you,, you know who you are..-

The Love Test

2007-10-16T16:21:00.001+07:00

Fenny, when you're in love, you're an Idealistic Romantic.
"Happily ever after," may be the three words that you enjoy dreaming about, next to "I love you," of course. As an idealistic romantic, you likely have your share of idealistic dreams for the future, especially when it comes to imaging your perfect partner. As a skilled socializer who knows how to make the people in your life feel special, you're apt to have your eye out for someone who can do the same.
The rituals of romance are important to you. And for that reason, if the object of your affections doesn't appreciate the value of things like red roses and candlelight dinners, they might not hold your interest for very long. However, you're not just looking for a thoughtful date who appreciates romantic gestures. You seek a deeper emotional bond. Once you find that special love, you'll probably be the first to declare that you're head-over-heels rather than hold back you're emotions. After all, what good is being in love if you can't share it?
Any person lucky enough to earn your love will likely find that they are showered with your attention and care. You seem to value the special bond that can be created when two people become involved and you'll likely go to great lengths to preserve it.

Weep No More Babe,, He Left You No Choice..

2007-10-10T17:48:00.000+07:00

Kmren, di Dufan,, Fny sneng bgt bs dket sm Ko.. Tp Fny ud mutusin, kmren ituw adlh hr terakhir Fny masih mengharapkan Ko.. Jujur,, sblum kmren, walaupun Fny bs terima klo hubungan qta ga bs lebih jauh lg, Fny terus mengharapkan Ko berubah pikiran,, Fny berharap Ko bs nerima dan ga mempermasalahkan perbedaan agm di antara qta.. Tp Fny sadar, Fny cm nyakitin perasaan Fny sndr klo Fny terus bgtu.. Fny bakalan terus sedih krn Ko ga akan mengubah keputusanny ituw,, dan Fny cm bs terus berharap tanpa ngelakuin ap2.. Fny ga mao bgtu, Fny ga mao terus2an sedih..
Prnah terlintas di pikiran Fny,, klo ga ada mslh perbedaan agm, atw lebih tepatny klo Ko ga mempermasalahkan perbedaan ituw, mgkn qta berdua bs jd pasangan yg seru.. Slama ini Fny ga bs bersikap biasa thd Ko krn Fny canggung di dpn yg laen,, tp ituw bakalan bda klo qta ud jd pasangan.. Fny ga perlu canggung lg di dpn yg laen.. Tp tnyata qta ga pernah jd,, dan Fny akan terus ngerasa canggung smpai Fny bs netralin perasaan Fny k Ko.. Untungnya yg laen ud stop menjodoh2kan qta, mrka tau klo hubungan qta ga bs lebih jauh lg.. Fny berterimakasih bgt, tnyata bnyk yg care sm Fny..
Sbenerny perbedaan agm ga jd mslh buat Fny dlm menjalin suatu hubungan.. Fny ga pernah berpikir perbedaan agm bakalan jd halangan spt ini..
Fny ga mgkn dan ga pernah berniat maksa Ko utk mengubah keputusannya.. Emang kmren2 Fny berharap Ko berubah pikiran,, tp Fny mao Ko berubah ats keinginan sndr, bukan krn paksaan.. Yang Fny mao, Ko berpikir klo perbedaan ituw ga jd mslh.. Fny ga mao ko ngubah keputusannya krn terpaksa.. Mgkn ada tindakan atw kata2 Fny slama ini yg secara ga lgsg memojokkan Ko.. Fny pernah tnya lgsg k Ko soal adny kmgknan dy berubah pikiran atw ga, tp ituw cm buat mastiin ap yg hrs Fny lakuin, apkah Fny harus mempertahankan rasa suka Fny k Ko atw mesti mengikisnya.. Fny jg sering blg k Ko klo Fny sayang sm Ko,, tp bkn mksd utk memojokkan Ko.. Fny cm mao Ko tau klo Fny bner2 sayang sm dy karena Fny ga bs nunjukin scr lgsg klo di dpn yg laen..
Fny minta maaf y klo Ko ngerasa Fny memojokkan Ko,, Fny jg minta maaf bwt kata2 Fny slama ini yg bwt Ko sedih..
Take care..

Is It a Mistake?

2007-10-07T18:11:00.000+07:00

Fny sedih bgt.. Fny terima klo hub Fny sm Ko ud ga bs lebih jauh lg,, tp Fny masi blom bs ngelupain Ko.. Harusny Ko tau ituw..
Tp skrg Ko malah kliatan dket bgt sm Tere,, ga tau Tere yg ngedeketin Ko atw sebalikny.. Fny selalu ga tenang klo liat mrka be2 lg sama2, Fny jealous, Fny takut klo keberadaan Tere menggantikan arti Fny buat Ko..
Mgkn Fny terkesan childish,, tp semua rasa ga tenang ini sbnerny krn Ko ga prnah ngomong lgsg k Fny.. Ko ga prnah bilang scr lgsg klo dy sayang sm Fny.. Ko selalu perlu ditanya, bahkan dulu Fny tau Ko ituw bner suka sm Fny stlah Fny tanya berulang kali.. Fny jd sering ragu.. Ko bilang sayang ituw ga harus diucapkan dgn kata2 tp cukup bgmn sikap qta k org yg qta kasihi,, bner bgt.. Tp Ko ituw tipe yg ramah k smua org,, Fny susah ngebedain sikap Ko yg mana yg skedar ramah atw yg mana yg artiny sayang.. Fny jd sering ngerasa klo Fny ga pny arti yg beda buat Ko,, Fny bkn ce spesial bwt Ko..
Fny ga tau sikap Ko k Tere ituw yg mana, cm skedar ramah atw lebih dr ituw.. Ini yg buat Fny selalu ngerasa jealous klo liat mereka be2 bareng.. Aplg stlah Fny mndngar cerita dr Garet.. Garet dnger Ci Lisa nanya k Ci Stef, "Ivan lg pdkt k Tere y?!".. Fny kaget bgt ngdengerny.. Slaen ituw Fny jg ngerasa klo Tere nganggep Ko lebih dr tmen biasa.. Aduw,, Fny ga tau mesti gmn..
Fny jd sering mikir klo perasaan Fny k Ko ini adlh suatu kesalahan.. Kykny keragu2an yg dari awal Fny rasain ituw, spt yg ud Fny tulisin di blog ini bulan Juni kmrn, bner2 terjadi skrg..
Fny ga tau lg mesti gmn..

Almost Love

2007-09-29T19:31:00.000+07:00

"Map ya Fen klo ko ud buat km jd binun..Ko emg slh coz sprti nyuekin km meskipun ko g bmksd buat nyuekin km..Ko trma kok klo km mw stop sms ko..Itu emg wajar ko dpt.."

"..Ko mw hub kt brkmbng kok tp sprtiny g bs smpe sjauh yg kt mw sbb ko g bs jlnin hub tu.Ko jnji kn ttp care ma km mskpn nntiny mgkn km g care lg ma ko.Sbnrny ko brt blg ni k km aplg ud bnyk prhtian yg km ksh k ko.
Gbu"

"..Smga nntiny km ttp care y ma ko2mu yg 1 ini mskpn ko tw km psti kcwa ma ko..Gbu"

"Ko lom bs ksh tw knp tp yg pasti ko ga prnah ad niat cm iseng sms km coz ko comfort ma km,,smua itu emg slah ko knp g dr awal ko ksh tw km,,"

"Y ampn fen,, kn ko ud prnah ksh tw km klo ko g mgkn ad pkran buat maenin km.. Tp km g prnah prcy ma ko.. Yawda ntar mlm ko telp k hums km aj ya.."

Wktu Fny ultah kmrn,, Ko ms blom bs putusin mao gmn hub qta k dpnny.. Tnyata alasan knp Ko blom siap slma ini adlh krn masalah perbedaan agama.. Ko ud ngmong lgsg k Fny.. Kt Ko dy ud sharing ma tmen2ny, ud tnya2 jg k keluarga dan akhirny Ko netepin keputusan klo qta ga bs lebih jauh lg.. Fny sedih, tp ga bs ngap2in jg.. Fny menghargai keputusan Ko ituw,, yg sdkt Fny nyeselin, knp dr awal Ko ngedeketin Fny pdhl Ko ud tau klo qta bda agm.. Ko crta k Fny,, Ko ptama mikir klo qta ttp bs jln walaupun bda agm,, tp knyataanny ga bs.. Fny smpe skrg ms susah membiasakan diri bwt ga trlalu mmperhatikan Ko.. Fny ms sayang ma Ko..
Skrg Ko berubah sikap k Fny,, Fny rasa Ko mao qta jaga jarak spy rasa saling suka ini pudar.. Cr Ko sms Fny jg ud bda.. Dulu Ko pke 'Makaci y..', skrg 'Thnx y..",, dulu Ko selalu menciri-khas kan smsny spy Fny tau ituw bneran dy yg sms, skrg tiap Ko sms Fny ciri khas ituw ud ilang..
Mgkn yg paling sakit ituw Ko sndr krn dy yg membuat keputusan spt ini.. Tnyata Ko serius ma Fny dr awal, Ko jg ga tau akhirny bkalan bgini. Fny tau Ko ud tanya sana-sini atw curhat k tmen2ny yg pny pasangan bda agama, salah satuny Ko Budi.. Ko Budi sndr yg cerita k Fny. Ko Budi prnah nanya k Ko, knp ga coba dijalanin dl, tp Ko blg kasian Fny klo misalkan nanti tnyata emang ga bs, Ko berpikiran jauh k dpn.. Ko mikirin Fny mpe sgtuny,, Fny sehrsny malu, Fny tdny ga brpikiran bklan seserius ituw sm Ko, Fny cm ngejalanin seadanya.. Fny jd brpikiran klo Fny ini egois.. Maafin Fny y Ko.. Makaci bwt kenangan slma ini..

2007-09-08T21:49:00.000+07:00

Fny bngung sm Ko.. Klo emang dy blom siap,, knp slma ini dy bersikap spt ituw k Fny?? Fny jd sdkt ngerasa dipermainkan d.. *sigh

IPB Banget..

2007-08-21T08:46:00.000+07:00

Arrgh! Apa2an seh ini..? Krs online ngadet mulu, ga bs submit terus!! Parah bgt,, dr kmrn siang smpe skrg ttep aj ga bs2.. Pdhl ini ud pke local area loh.. Haizz. Cape d.
Bner2 Internetny Paling Bobrok tnyata..

Masuk Foodtech Loh..

2007-08-17T21:24:00.000+07:00

Akhirny masuk tekpang jg.. Bnyk bgt tmen2 yg msk tekpang jg,, kul bakalan ga pernah sepi neh.. Hoho. ^^
Mao kstau Ko ah.. Ehe.

So Damn Stupid..

2007-08-11T17:29:00.000+07:00

Fny ngelakuin hal yg bodoh bgt.. Hiks,, pdhl dy ud bner2 sabar ngadepin Fny.. Kmrn Fny bete,, trus gtu d jdny.. Bodoh.. Huaaa... Ko bklan maafin Fny ga y.. Smpe skrg dy blom contact Fny lg...

2007-08-09T18:51:00.000+07:00

Hubungan Fny sm Ko skrg mkin membingungkan.. Bwt Fny sndr aj mmbngungkan,, aplg bg mrka yg ngeliat qta be2.. Mrka ud pd tau klo qta srg ngobrol lwt sms, mrka tau klo qta sbnerny ituw dket, tp klo qta be2 lg bareng mrka, qta jarang ngobrol.. Emang Fny prnah blg k Ko, Fny kagok, ga bs bertingkah biasa aj k Ko di dpn yg laen.. Ko jg prnah blg gtu k Fny.. Tp stlah smua tau klo qta sbnerny emang ud dket,, qta ttep aj bgtu, kykny ga ad kemajuan. Hubungan yg tdny mnurut Fny dan Ko ituw seruw bwt dirahasiain dr yg laen,, skrg Fny malah ga suka hub ini dirahasiain.. Fny emang ms ttep ga bs bersikap biasa aj k Ko di dpn yg laen,, tp Fny ga mao Ko jg ngediemin Fny mulu di dp yg laen.. Fny mao Ko mulai terbuka k yg laen klo emang Fny dan dy ituw dket.. Tp, bknny bgtu, Ko malah selalu (ga bner2 selalu seh) ngingetin Fny spy hub qta yg kyk gtu ga ktauan ma tmen2 slaen Feri dkk yg emang ud pd tau, terutama ke Ko Deni yg mkn kepo.. Fny jd mkin bngung skrg,, sbnerny hub qta ini mao dbwa kmana.. Fny mulai cape.. Fny ga tau Ko sbnerny sk ga sm Fny klo bgini mulu.. Pdhl Fny sndr jg blom tau Fny ini sbnerny suka ga sm Ko.. *sigh

2007-07-04T14:16:00.000+07:00

Ko' ud punya no Xl,, skrg makin srg smsan ma Fny.. Yang laen makin curiga klo qta srg smsan,, aplg Feriana sm Ko Deni.. Hahah, biarin aj, biar mrk ber2 makin penasaran. Yang tau klo Ko' smsan ma Fny ituw cm Ko Icoez dan Garet, Garet jg br Fny kstau kmrn (kykny dy ud tau sblomny seh), yang laen cm nebak2 aj.. Ci Stef prnah tiba2 nanya k Garet, Fny sm Ko' jd dket y.. Tp Garet cm jwb ga tau, emang dy blom Fny kstau klo Fny smsan ma Ko' wktu ituw..

Ko'

2007-06-22T22:09:00.000+07:00

Fny ga tau,, apa semua yang Fny lakuin skrg, sikap Fny terhadap Ko', respon Fny sm Ko', atw perasaan Fny k Ko' ituw bner atw ga.. Fny seneng, Ko' mulai nunjukin perhatianny k Fny.. Ptama ktmu Ko', sblum Fny pindah k 99,, Fny ud tertarik sm dy. Cm tertarik aj seh.. Senyum Ko' ramah bgt.. Ko' jg satu2ny yg nyapa Fny wktu itu, wktu qta ank2 KMB lg danus, ank 99 yang laen malah pd kabur karena cara Feriana nawarin brg danus qta k mrk emang sdkt maksa.. Tp Ko' tetep ramah k qta2, k Fny,, dy ajak Fny ngobrol malah..
Tp skrg, stlah Ko' mulai dket ma Fny, mulai smsan ma Fny,, Fny mulai ngerasa ragu.. Fny ga yakin.. Aneh kan.. Fny selalu ngerespon klo Ko' sms Fny, Fny jg kadang yang inisiatif sms Ko'.. Tp,, Fny jd ragu.. Yah, walaupun blom tentu qta bakal jd.. Aneh,, pdhl dr ptama Fny ud tertarik ma Ko'.. Ih, jd bingung..